By far the hardest thing that I have had to deal with is that my grandma passed away at the end of January. It has been hard for my whole family to deal with. My grandma had been living at my parent's house for the past seven years. I was able to see her every day. I am really thankful that my boys got to spend quality time with her every day.
I knew how hard it was for me, but I had clue how my boys would take it. Each one is handling her death differently. Patrick is still pretty upset, he's angry yet he absolutely will not talk about it. Last Thursday he heard a song on the radio and wanted me to turn it off because "it was a sad song to him" and it reminded him of when great grandma died. He was angry the rest of the evening and since he wouldn't talk about it, we ended up just snuggling in his bed till he fell asleep.
Wyatt is the complete opposite. He wants to talk about it. At first it began with him saying he's going to get magical powers for Christmas, and he's going to bring great grandma back to life. He loves to talk about great grandma, and I love that he does. He has even been telling his teachers and friends at school. I received the below email from his teacher:
Eric and Katie,
I just wanted to give you an update on Wyatt since the passing of his great grandmother. Wyatt has been very open about talking about it. He really has expressed an understanding that everyone passes away one day as we will too. He said, it makes him sad, but I told him that it is okay to be sad, everyone does and he can tell me anything he feels like sharing. So, today he told Ms. Nancy all about Jesus and how he died on a cross (they glued him to it) and we know he’s dead when he hangs his head down. Then he said, “and his father rised him up.” He even told her he goes to a Catholic church.
We were amazed by all that he knew and he was proud to share it, he even re-told me the whole story.
I probably should fill Wyatt in that we are Lutheran, but that's okay. This past Wednesday during Ash Wednesday service, Wyatt wrote a letter and gave it to our Pastor. He asked him to mail it to heaven. It was a little confusing at the time because we were shaking pastor's hand on our way out of church, but when we got in the van Wyatt told me that he was so happy because Pastor Chad was going to mail his letter to great grandma in heaven.
Quintin on the other hand...takes after Patrick. He has had an attitude since January, and he "hates everything" Eric & I are hoping that it is a phase, but man I'll take his terrible two's over the attitude we've been getting lately. Since he's only three, I wasn't sure how he would handle everything. Up until a few days before she passed away he was sitting on her lap and they would watch Thomas the Train together. It took a few weeks before he had even mentioned great grandma. I was sitting on the couch and he walked up to me and pointed to a picture of great grandma that he had found and said "I miss dis grandma!" and tossed the picture to me. He has asked only a few times "Where great grandma is?" when we tell him she is heaven, he's responds with "Okay" and walks away.
It's weird how we are all handling the situation differently. I have never lost anyone as close to me as my grandma. I'm almost 31 years old - I think that's pretty darn good. I have good days and bad days like anyone else. I have caught myself telling Quintin to pick up his toys so Great Grandma trip over them. My mom had given me a handkerchief with my grandma's perfume, which I love having. I keep it close by and when I feel down I smell it and it helps.
Personally, I feel like everything happens for a reason. There was a reason why that Sunday before my grandma died, I tried my best to get my kids up and ready for church. By the time we were approaching the main road by my parent's house I looked at the clock and thought there was no way that we were going to make it to church on time. So instead I went to my parent's where we ate breakfast.
As I sat with my grandma, I decided we should play beauty shop. I washed & curled her hair, gave her a facial, and a manicure. I did go with a clear coat of polish because...well let's just say that I've never been able to paint within the lines. We really had such a wonderful time together. It wasn't anything huge. Little did I know that morning was my last morning that I would spend talking with my grandma.
Our family was truly blessed to have her in our lives for 99 years, and she is sooo missed.
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